I'm Sorry

My dilemma hits me hard
Should I or Should I not
call you
to say 'Yes'

Everytime I take a step forward
My fears hold me back
You wait there patiently
your eyes encouraging me

You promise me not
days without hardships
or petty squabbles
or pillow fights

You promise me the one thing
I long for my life
friendship
companionship

I am tired of walking
the lanes of this life
alone

I am tired of sharing myself
with different people
only to start over
once again

Yes
I truly want to take your hand
and give you myself
and as I take the first step

I wake up from my dream
shaking with fear
with uncertainity

will I be a good wife?
will I make you happy?
May be one day
you will get up

and leave me

May be one day you will say
"You never did enough"
"You deserve more, go, you're free"
"Goodbye"

These thoughts haunt me
and I'm sorry
I'm sorry to say
they are more powerful

than your silent patient heart