The little bird has fallen

I bow my head
sad at my plight
the jihad I want to win
I keep loosing

Today I went
and how I went
unprepared
The paper lay infront of me

doubts poured in
I had not done my practise
what is this or that
or what was it? I asked

I went then
to say I never did
make the report
only to told

Forget it
Didn't I try?
then why again
why again

do I keeping falling down
I don't want to fall
I want to fly
fly high, fly wide

yet, again
I fall down
I cry for I don't know how
this broken wing will mend

where will I get
those kind gentle words
where will I get
that strong warm arms

where will I get
those eyes that tell me
"You are going to make it"
"You will make it"

Oh how, I miss them two
I may have grown
but my heart remains small
I want to be held

and wrapped in warmth
I want to feel secure
and to feel loved
to see them both

to hear them both
mom and dad
my strength and courage
far away.. far far away

this tiny bird has fallen
and no one is there
to say 'get up
Its ok to fall'

Time to look ahead

Every time I turn to my side
I hope to find him
yet he has as always
never been there

This heart is so insane
despite all these
it still waits
for him to catch up

catch up for what?
to lag behind again?
I stand here with plenty of choices
with the hands of men

good and wonderful
offering me their companionship
promising me
a lasting friendship

I look at them
and wonder why
I still look behind
to see if he'll come by

He has never
and will he ever?
today I regret
giving the power over myself

to someone
as kind and gentle he may be
yet to give another
the right to hurt... hurts

It's a feeling one cannot control
for how can how control
their breathing?
or their heart beats?

Again I tell myself
It's time to stop
It's time to stop looking behind
and time

to look ahead

Along the path

I walked along a path
loving someone with my heart
I at times hoped to find
the same love in his heart

All those times I cried
for I realised it never did
and now I have stopped
for no longer can I walk

I have no reason to walk
for the love in my heart
has been killed
for I have been told

I have none at all

I walked along a path
never thinking of the gain
I gave and gave and gave
only to be told

I gave none at all

No hopes, no dreams I kept
even when a tiny light was lit
I ignored for I realised
it would be blown any time

like the many times
how many times
I do not know
and now

I have stopped
to count
this path is leading no where
apart from the occasional shocks

this path is not meant for me
this path does not take me
to where I want to be
this path is not my path

along the way I travelled
and now I check my map
my route is about to change.