Once a upon a time...

Once upon a time
there was a little girl
she was fair and beautiful
with soft black tendrils

she was loved by her daddy
and she looked up to him
"You're smart and intelligent"
he would tell her always

she grew up thinking so
and at every point
her daddy urged her on

since she was five
she had only one dream
some blue eyed smiling boy
would come and hold her hand

she would be happily married
with children around her
a few pets
and a nice little garden

but her daddy said no
he said you can't trust any colored eyes
"You have to be strong
on your own two feet
you should never be
at the mercy of anyone else"

along the way
many boys came
they saw her beauty
elegance and grace

they bent on their knees
and asked her for her hand
her heart grew happy
and turned to her dad

"No"
He would say
"He is not the right one"
sad and dejected, she'd say goodbye

"Daddy Daddy look, there's a boy
he wants to be my friend
all life long"

"No"
He would say
"You have to first be on your feet
and march on, shoulders square
and take on the world"

and so...

the little girl
marched on
through seasons
and through reasons

then one day
her daddy commando was no more
she stood on her heels
waiting for her command

"March!"
but none came
and then the fog lifted
and she saw

she saw that she was all alone
on an empty long road
no was she a little girl
but an old lonely woman

leaning on her only companion
her walking stick

I'm Sorry

My dilemma hits me hard
Should I or Should I not
call you
to say 'Yes'

Everytime I take a step forward
My fears hold me back
You wait there patiently
your eyes encouraging me

You promise me not
days without hardships
or petty squabbles
or pillow fights

You promise me the one thing
I long for my life
friendship
companionship

I am tired of walking
the lanes of this life
alone

I am tired of sharing myself
with different people
only to start over
once again

Yes
I truly want to take your hand
and give you myself
and as I take the first step

I wake up from my dream
shaking with fear
with uncertainity

will I be a good wife?
will I make you happy?
May be one day
you will get up

and leave me

May be one day you will say
"You never did enough"
"You deserve more, go, you're free"
"Goodbye"

These thoughts haunt me
and I'm sorry
I'm sorry to say
they are more powerful

than your silent patient heart

Never Again

Whether you come
and beg on your knees
I will close my heart
and turn my heel

You think of me
like an option to click
I'm a person
not a commodity to pick

At every point of time
since I met you
you treated me so
I smiled and forgave

and took all the pain
you are not to blame
see how I defend you
silly am- oh wait

you already know right?
I knew it was wrong
wrong wrong wrong
but as usual

I succumbed to my whims
now go away
leave me alone
I'm tired

truly tired this time
I have nothing for you
nothing you need anyways
then why do you even want

to know where I am
go go go
leave me in peace
for that's all I need

Peace

Time to look ahead

Every time I turn to my side
I hope to find him
yet he has as always
never been there

This heart is so insane
despite all these
it still waits
for him to catch up

catch up for what?
to lag behind again?
I stand here with plenty of choices
with the hands of men

good and wonderful
offering me their companionship
promising me
a lasting friendship

I look at them
and wonder why
I still look behind
to see if he'll come by

He has never
and will he ever?
today I regret
giving the power over myself

to someone
as kind and gentle he may be
yet to give another
the right to hurt... hurts

It's a feeling one cannot control
for how can how control
their breathing?
or their heart beats?

Again I tell myself
It's time to stop
It's time to stop looking behind
and time

to look ahead