I look at myself
in the mirror
I see in me
someone I don't like
Soon I'm hysterically laughing
ha ha ha HA HA HA
and slowly, ever so slowly
my laughter becomes gulps
gulps of tears
gulps of screams
gulps of desperation
as I tear my face and hair
I glance up and see the razor
why not?
Why not end it?
I reach out for it
like it's my only savior
I hold it above my wrist
'Do it! Do it!'
chants my sick mind
but damn the razor
it's shaking so badly
I slump on the floor
'What a looser, you can't even
kill yourself' my mind mocks
but I didn't do it
I didn't
for I remembered
there is my Lord
and I would never forsake Him
I will wait for my life to end
but I will never take it
I will bear my pain
the loss of my loved one
the nightmares of the dark
but I will never take my life
for it is not mine
to give
or to end
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3 comments:
do your poems reflect you ...I hope inshallah you will get better if it is about you ...I have been going through moments of suffocation of not knowing how to get out of it .
PM - lol, thanks dear, I am not married but I put myself in other people shoes and see how their life is. I have written poems on love, marriage, children... :) without having any..
I tried putting myself in the shoes of one who wants to kill him/herself and ofcourse end it correctly.. that its not your right but God's.
it is great that you can do that , because you do it SO WELL , it is like as if you are ....especially in terms of motherhood .
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